Divorcee (1930)
Equality and Relationship
Jerry Martin (1930)
The Big Question
Have you ever felt a deep connection with someone... You thought they really accepted and understood you, and that it would last forever, but later on, they betrayed you.
(If you checked 'Yes', this chapter is for you.)
Your First Impression
Let's meet Jerry. We see her as a strong woman, educated and career-driven, who says what is on her mind, shares her feelings openly, is surrounded by friends of both genders, and is living a great love story.
What's your 'first impression' of her personality?
Based on this, my first read is that she is: (Check all that apply)
What do you think her biggest *problem* in relationships will be?
The Character Dossier
How close were you? You're right. She's a puzzle.
Her Personality:
Jerry is a strong, independent, and refuses to be belittled.
...But Here's Her "Fatal Flaw":
She allowed her wounded pride, her disappointment over the shift standard for women and men in the world, to harm her even more; she thought she could avenge the world for it, but she ended up only harming herself further.
Her Superpowers
- Believes: allows her to stand up for herself
- Independent: live her life the way she wants without waiting for others' approval
- Her Kryptonite
- Self-Harm: Uses her superpowers as a weapon to attack herself
Interactive Check-in:
The Core Conflict
Here's the situation. Jerry finds herself in many relationships with many men, even with a married old friend who has always been in love with her; however, she has always had deep feelings for her ex-husband. She is still disappointed and hurt, and she's stuck between her beliefs and his patriarchal way of thinking.
If this were your story, what would you do?
How She Handled It
What did Jerry do? She chose the second option after she became successful in her work. She gave up meaningless relationships that only harmed her, made peace with herself, and tried to reconnect with her ex-husband, asking for one more chance for their relationship, not from a weak stand but from a loving one.
The Breakdown:
She uses her greatest strength (beliefs) to achieve success, and protect herself from her anger that led her to harm herself by consorting with meaningless relationships, and instead she tried one more time for the sake of her heart.
The "Reel" Consequence:
It's a temporary "win" (she gets him back), but that does not mean the main problem has been solved; men will always keep seeing women from a sexist standard, and she will need to compromise if she wants the relationship to continue.
Interactive Check-in:
Your Scene: "Avenge Weapon."
"A **'Avenge Weapon'** is behaviors you apply to take revenge from people hurting you emotionally or psychologically, like (Sarcastic, hurtful, ignores, engaging in actions or relationships solely to hurt others' feelings) that you use to *avoid* looking vulnerable or weak ."
What is your 'Avenge Weapon'?
When I'm hurt in a relationship, I... (check all that apply)
The Turning Point
Jerry's strategy works... Her ex-husband lost his temper, his job, and his self-confidence while she indulged in affairs with other men, becoming emotionally detached from everything, until she entered into a relationship with Paul, an old married friend who promised to leave his wife to be with her. Gerry invested herself in this relationship. Then his wife, Dorothy, "the woman with the disfigured face," comes to visit, jolting Gerry out of her complacency.
"I guess I was going to ask you not to take him from me.”
“Maybe our marriage hasn’t meant much, but there’s nothing at all without it.”
“It does give me an excuse for living… being married to him."
Making her remember she does not want to be that woman who destroys marriages, as her marriage was destroyed because of her unfaithful husband, and her unintended rebound
The " The Facial Disfigured Woman" Test:
The "Reel" Advice
The lesson from Jerry is that revenge may sound sweet, but we only harm ourselves, and the biggest harm falls on us and others who did not deserve it. Revenge prepares nothing; it only makes us lose more.
Your New 'Director's Notes':
- Identify Your Avenge Weapon: Recognize when you're using it.
- Practice "Forgiveness": revenge only wastes the time you should spend loving and forgiving yourself and others.
- Choose self-healing: Time for yourself to recognize your pain and anger, close pages, moving on is more worthy, Time heals all wounds, and Patience is always rewarded.
Interactive Check-in:
The Director's Cut
Time to direct your *own* life. Let's apply the 'Forgiveness Method.'
The Situation:
"You were betrayed badly by a partner/friend. Your instinct is to let them pay for the pain they cause (a 'Avenge Weapon')."
The Final Cut
So, Jerry, nothing is worth hurting yourself more; you deserve to be happy ."
Your Lesson Locked-In:
Final Check-out:
How are you feeling after this 'Reel'?