Sometimes, when our lives follow a blueprint laid out for us in childhood—pushing us toward specific goals—it becomes difficult to break free from the ideas we grew up with, ideas that shaped who we are today.

Many people harbor two dreams: one they chose for themselves, and another chosen for—or imposed upon—them due to factors like academic performance, parental expectations, comparisons with family members, school, society, and various other influences.

Often, support goes not toward your personal dream, but toward the goal others have chosen for you. Our own dreams are frequently shaped by what we see in the media, movies, stories, or magazines—influenced by what we have come to define as "wonderful" or "amazing." Sometimes, your personal dream isn't merely about becoming an athlete or a famous star; it is about the fame or wealth that comes with it—the means to finally buy those shoes you always wanted or that handbag you admired but never owned.

You might reason that since the "realistic" goal garners support—unlike your personal dream, which no one else might understand—you should pursue it. It appears practical, tangible, and sensible; it might even eventually help you realize your personal dream, making both you and those around you happy. Even if you lack the resources to achieve your personal dream fully, the fact that you can pursue it with what you have, your own money, or simply as a cherished hobby means it won't be a problem.

I want to say...

How I wish our personal dreams weren't tied to making a living, to wealth, or to material and social needs. What if they were simply about a pure love for something you create or become? Like setting a goal that everyone thinks you lack the talent or ability to achieve, yet you pursue it simply because you know you want it to exist.

 It may sound like I’m speaking in riddles, but those who drift between reality and imagination understand exactly what I mean. And finally, when the opportunity arrives to realize the dream you’ve long awaited, you find yourself still clinging to reality and expectations. You try to accomplish something that isn't truly *you*—whether because you feel it’s your duty or because you desire it—yet deep down, you know... it isn't you; or at the very least, it isn't *your* dream.

I fully understand why so many people wait until retirement to pursue a desire that has always been a part of them, or why they wait until they’ve reached the pinnacle of their careers, fearing the descent that might follow. Perhaps that is why I still hold on to the academic path—and I won't deny it has given me a great deal; it would be ungrateful to claim otherwise. Yet, I still remember the child hiding beneath piles of paper—the one who kept stacks of stories that might seem truly clumsy to an actual reader or a connoisseur of real literature.

I also cannot deny that in this fast-paced era—a sentiment perhaps unexpected from someone who spends hours reading research papers—I have lost the patience for aesthetic descriptions that fill whole pages of a novel. I find myself wanting only light reads, seeking to breathe freely away from the clamor of complex, high-flown words. I am still trying to figure out what I want—whether to hold on to an old dream or keep building on what I have already established. Sometimes, I decide not to decide, and let fate decide on my behalf.