‎People always believe they are the smartest; no person really thinks they are stupid, so they spend their time trying to prove how smart they are by playing mind games on others.

‎Encouragement is one of these tools, believe it or not.

‎Not all encouragement is genuine or from the heart. People encourage others to test them, to make them do things they don't want to do by themselves, to mock them, to get something from them, or sometimes because they think you should do it and that is the right thing to do, even if it is not for you.

‎Be careful of all the fantasy words; learn to have a solid inside. Do not get taken out by these words; not everyone wants the best for you.

‎See the source of the encouragement; think about their past, what they do now, and your conversations before and now.

‎Do not allow them to put you in their shoes; people choose very interesting ways to force you to do something. Sometimes, they are not getting anything from it, but still it can affect your life greatly.

‎Some people believe that they are helping you, making you better, a better person, or a successful one; they try to apply your advice to them or to return your Encouragement to them without really understanding your situation or what you want. People assume that what they want, you must want too. People refuse to accept the idea that you are a different person than them, maybe better, maybe worse, but you are different.

‎Let me give you an example from my life

‎When I decided to pursue my academic studies, I got a different kind of Encouragement; when I was under stress, and it could affect my health, I got different responses.

‎First, women need to understand something: other women always compare themselves to you, forcing themselves into your shoes or the opposite.

 One woman in my family tried to pressure me so hard to look for a job rather than pursue studying; I heard sentences like, "Money is better," "Why will you tire yourself?" "With a job, you will be better; you can work anything if you do not want to work in your field. This same woman was encouraging her husband to continue studying until she feared he would become a better person, which would make him look for a better wife ( well, this is another topic we should talk about later, right?).

Anyway, the idea was that she did not want to be less, afraid of people's comparison if one day I got a better job than hers (even so, she did not understand what I really want for my life; this is also another story for another time).

Some people assume that they cannot do it, or that it is hard for them, so the best way is to try to stand in the way of others. It is easier to use words, as words are poison.

‎Another kind of Encouragement, was ignoreing my fear and my stress, in a way that make you feel worse than better, things like when you say I hate this iam stressful, response will be you can do it, i will see your graduation soon, iam sure you wil get full grade, when you say clearly no they force on you that you must you will, you are the best.

‎It is like they do not hear you.

- I do not want that.

- You will be fine.

- I am not doing this.

- I am sure you will be great.

- I will never do this.

- I will wait to see when you do it.

‎I say I will not; no, no, you will, and I am sure God will help you.

‎People do this all the time, reinforcing their ideas and wishes, forcing their needs. Not always do they want the best; not always do they want the worst. Sometimes they do not just get what you really need.

‎So you should learn the language of people in front of you, the meaning behind the words. Learn to understand if these sentences mean real, naive Encouragement or just another Weight you must deal with, and block it before it harms you.

‎Do not try to go with the encouragement immediately; use your brain to understand the messages, look to yourself and learn your limits, know what you want, and sometimes tell people to stop when it hurts you. A person who really cares and wants to support will understand; the ones who try to play mind games will not.

‎Even some of them will ignore what you say and continue to force their thoughts over you. Fortify yourself, and stay away if you can.