When I started Quillverve, I was in a waiting period before the final stop of my academic research.

Now that I've finished and achieved my goal, I feel like my mind is like a train speeding aimlessly in an unknown direction.

I know I love Quillverve; it's my garden where I wander among various hobbies, learn, and think aloud in accordance with my mood. That's why I find myself writing more about some things than others.

But for reasons I know all too well, my mind is still working toward academic goals I didn't realize I was so passionate about.

The difference is that, for the first time in a long time, I'll read and write without waiting for grades, criticizing teachers, or reading what's required as part of the curriculum or writing what's required for school or university assignments. For the first time, I'll read and write because I want to produce my own useful knowledge rather than consume it.

There's a real flaw in the education system. I understand the perspective behind it, but it's a reality that drains the energy and passion of our youth. When everything becomes tied to grades, and when knowledge becomes materialized, production also becomes painful.

When I was crossing the bridge of my studies, I thought I hated studying itself. I felt a painful weight, and talking to professors was exhausting. Now that I've finished, I find myself longing for reading that teaches me and writing that broadens my horizons, but I recoil from the pressures people bring with them.

On my last day, my supervisor told me I had to produce more articles and books, that I couldn't take a break. I felt that immense psychological pressure repeat itself, and I still sometimes get chills at the thought of receiving an email or message from that supervisor or anyone else.

It's gone beyond learning and creativity; he's telling me I have to produce. He's speaking with the voice of capitalism, which tells us we have to produce until the very last moment of our lives.

It doesn't matter what this production is, whether it's truly important, whether it's fruitful. What matters is that it's production and could bring opportunities and gains.

I won't produce because I have to. I want to produce because I want to. I want to produce something I can be proud of... I don't want people to say I'm just a hard worker, toiling until my last breath...

I want people to say that even though I find time to enjoy life, I still contribute something valuable from time to time.

For the first time, I feel like I'm breaking free...

And I feel immense joy... I want my doctorate to be an opportunity to say what I want, not another prison to turn me into an academic production machine. I don't need another title (at least that's how I feel now), or another degree. I need to write what I want and read what I want.

I now have this luxury, and I will use it to my fullest.